Social conditioning at its finest/worst.
A friend and I were discussing the book Sex at Dawn yesterday. She asked my girlfriend I what we thought of it, as she has been hearing a lot about it and remembered us saying something about not really liking it. ‘Not really liking it’ is a bit of an understatement. I am very critical of it for a number of reasons, mostly pertaining to its: a) ethnocentrisim (referring to Indigenous cultures as ‘ancient’ and ‘primitive’); b) pseudo-scientific assumptions about biology (especially genitals) somehow exclusively controlling our sexual lives and practices; c) complete lack of mention of non-heterosexual, non-procreational sexual practices. I think it mentions homosexuality once and never EVER mentions asexuality, or even people with low sex drives for goodness’ sake!
Anyhow, so after we discussed all these points, my friend asked my gf and I if we could think of any good books that she should read instead. She also really wanted to recommend some good, non-ethnocentric, non-identity-erasing, respectful reads to her friends who are all currently salivating over Sex at Dawn. Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of any on the spot to tell her about! Almost everything I’ve read has come out of coursewares which I have put away into storage, and I can’t remember their original sources.
And so tumblr, I turn to you. If anyone can think of great articles, books, or other resources that discuss sexuality and gender in inclusive, respectful and non-ethnocentric ways, please let me know so I can pass on all that great information to my friend. And so I can have a nice little database for myself!
And I love YOU, Andrej Pejic!
“By the time my mother finally found the words to call me her gay daughter, I was searching for the nerve to describe the son in my eyes, the shadow of the boy I might be or the boy I might still love, for the official gay record.”
“I do not wear a welcome mat on my chest just so you can walk all over it.”
“I can guarantee that a haircut will never tell you anything about someone’s gender, who they love or how they fuck, but I’ve been growing out my short temper for the next time I have the ‘opportunity’ to tell someone in my queer community, look, I am about as butch as a Swedish male figure skater, as for dyke, I will happily dance in that music box for tonight, but tomorrow, when I pull the word ‘faggot’ from the shotgun of a fratboy’s mouth…”
Ok, I could quote the whole thing, but watch, this is one of my favourites.
“For every holy knuckle gender bent trans kid.”
This is so beautiful.
Tears in my eyes.
“I have never cared to be, nearly as much as I care to become.”
Favorite poem by her so far.
THIS. there are no words for how much THIS.
Advertisement for bake sale tomorrow by UC Berkeley College Republicans. Photo via Colorlines.
I still cannot believe this…..people are so silly/ignorant. srsly people thought this was a GOOD idea and wouldn’t be criticized for it. god
….I would be mad if it didn’t get me free cupcakes.
I’d go and take all their fucking cupcakes and let them know that because of our “post-racial” society, this is the only handout I’m ever going to get. Employers will continue not to hire people like me, people will continue to attack people like me, “post-racial” history will continue to erase people like me, and ignorant fucking shitbags will continue to get to say whatever they want about people like me and have other privileged jerks not only let them do it, but applaud them for it. So yeah, poor, “oppressed” white males, you best believe I’ll take your fucking cupcakes for me, because this “post-racial” society that conforms to you and your ignorance is never going to let me have anything else without paying for it with my life.
Nobody said your individual experiences weren’t valid, or you never suffered, or you’ve had a perfect life. What other people are trying to say, and you aren’t really hearing properly, is that the way you have experienced the world has been shaped by a series of factors that you’ve probably never had to think about before. Not because you’re a bad person, or you’re s****d, or you’re mean, but probably because nobody ever sat you down and said, “Listen, your house is actually super nice, but that’s because your parents made a decent amount of money. Not everybody’s parents can make that much money, so you’re sort of blessed to be able to have this life”.
Privilege is about gaps in experience, on some basic level. It’s like, if nobody ever told you the world was supposed to not be blurry, you would never know you needed glasses. Sort of thing.
THIS. I see so many reblogs where people think “privilege” is an insult. It’s not. It’s an acknowledgement that your life circumstances are different than another person’s. Does anyone really disagree with that?